My parents divorced when I was at the age of 12. One of the reasons my mom wanted to file for divorce was my dad dad being gay. My dad never admitted being gay. It took him about 25 more years to admit. His way of coming out was to introduce me to the man he was about to marry.
Not the fact him being gay, but the way he coped with the situation had a strong effect on me. Over the years I met different gay man and woman, whom were open about their sexual preferences. The big difference between them and my dad is that these people were born in a different zeitgeist. I suppose, at all times, coming out is an emotional process. Unfortunately we must continue to fight for more tolerance.
One of the guys I met, the baby brother of a friend of mine, was the opposite of my dad. I was intrigued by him. Besides him being open about his sexuality at a young age he was really eccentric. He always wanted to be the centre of attention. Nowadays the guy plays a significant roll, as a well known drag, in the Kings and Queens society. At this moment photographer Leon Hendrickx presents Kings & Queens, an intimate series of photographs exploring drag queens, by portraying the drag queens embracing the man behind their alter ego. https://www.foam.org/museum/programme/kings-queens
Sadly, despite the fact that lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT) rights in the Netherlands have been some of the most progressive in the world, there are people who disagree and take law into their own hands.
That brings me to the point. Micha, please keep up the good work. The world can use more ambassadors like you. You’re doing a hell of a job.
It is striking to see the amount of couples around here having this huge age gap. I am not talking about a few years but more like several decennia. The other day I was walking behind this lady in her late 50’s and her way younger boyfriend in his 30’s. A cougar or m.i.l.f. with her toy boy as they would been called.
I catch myself on having a bias based on my own sociocultural perspective.I have that same feeling when I see an older man with a girl of his daughters age or with a gay couple with an enormous age gap. I even have this feeling when I see a tall woman with a shorter man. It’s their life’s and in no way it affects me, but still this feeling comes over me. It’s kind of weird to realize that you don’t agree on your own prejudices thoughts.
The other day I also met two elderly gay men, both being engaged with younger man. I am talking about men in their 80’s dating guys in their 40’s. Gay age gaps like that are nothing new and are much more common compared to straight relationships. Like Oscar Wilde, he was 36 when he became involved with the 22-year-old Lord Alfred Douglas.
I did a bit of research on this topic, it intrigues me. Nothing based on facts, but just by browsing the Internet. Why would someone date someone else half their age? I read somewhere: ‘we don’t look at age per se, instead we think of life stage. We also consider shared core values, background, lifestyle, goals, personality and attraction.’ I find that hard to believe. When there is a huge age gap how can you share the same goals and core values. Look at the core values of your parents and your own even though they raised you. There will always be this generation gap. And what about the assumption that the attraction is either based on a mutually satisfactory financial agreement, a daddy/ mommy fetish or a mid-life crisis.
Myself, I rather have a relationship or affair with a man about my own age in the same stage of life. But that’s what I prefer. I do understand all the obvious reasons to date a younger man but that just does not suit me.
Or maybe I do have to get my cards out and consider to find myself a toy boy. You never know after all….- by Bregje
The other day I met Douglas, Isabel’s significant other.
Douglas is one of a kind. He is quite a storyteller and just like Isabel he knows everybody on the block.
I just moved into this beautiful Art Deco landmark building on 5th Ave.
Douglas and I share the love of art deco architecture. One subjects leads to an other and Douglas tells me he use to be an hairdresser in the old days. Back in 1957, when men still wore hats. His salon was on the second floor of the former fancy Fifth Avenue Hotel at 24 5th Avenue. An upper class salon. Some of his clientele were Sibel Shephert and Bette Midler, but also the cast of the musical hair who were guests at the hotel. Douglas tells me he got fed up with all his clients wining about their private lives. Like their lesbian affairs, their troubled children, medical issues and and so on. Finally he gave up his salon feeling more like a shrink than a hairdresser.
I don’t know about our own hairdressers training but students here have to take two test before becoming an hairdresser. One practical on their cutting-skills and one written test proving that they know all the facial bones and nerves by heart. It takes 1000 hours equivalent to 6 month of training. The average life for a straight hairdresser is seven year. Gay men usually still kicking it for longer period of time cause they don’t get fed up that easily with the female intimacies, according to Douglas.
The defining principle of law is the requirement that every hairdresser takes a blood tests every year. That would be fine if the hairdresser is more Catholic than the Pope but it’s ridiculous when he or she lives a promiscuous life. And what about their clients life’s?