Geplaatst in Personal

Gender Equality

After thousands of years of male dominance, we now stand at the beginning of a turning point. Real strides have been made in western civilization, but there’s a whole lot left to accomplish before we can say gender equality has been reached.

Mass media plays a crucial role in influencing people’s mind. It still use gender stereotypes, basing on the assumption, that they are well known to everyone and help the receivers to understand the content of the message.

I would like to take a closer look at physical appearance and physical performance of men and women.

According to the so-called “double standard of aging” women have a shorter shelf life than men. We all know the assumption that ‘Men age like a fine wine, while women age like a glass of milk.’ Too often women are judged by their physical attractiveness whereas men’s are valued on their labor income. Youthful beauty fades with age while earnings potential and achievement increase as men age. Older men are viewed more attractive and desirable than older women, a perception that can have a negative impact on women. When it comes to aging, by and large, women are treated with a lack of respect verging on cruelty. Often “aging” is used as insult. That why it’s so important to disprove the assumption and speak out against sexism and ageism.

For a long time people thought that only female fertility is affected by age. It turns out men also have to worry about their biological clocks. Maybe his clock does not tick with an alarm signal like the one that ends woman’s child-birthing years, but it sure ticks. The quality of a man’s sperm decreases as a man ages, it takes longer for his partner to get pregnant. Moreover the children of older fathers are at greater risk of autism, mental health problems and learning difficulties. Men might not have their ovaries rattling, but there are also risks for older would-be dads.

Romantic attraction is a complicated thing. For whatever reason younger women tend to seek for older men, while older men prefer younger women. As women grow older their option in the dating market narrow. We all age, except in a different way. It’s no competition. “Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” It all depends on so many factors.

A really important factor is, how you take care of your inner and outer self. There is no argument about the fact that women spend a lot more time, effort, and money on their appearance than men do. We all know older men who badly need a top rated ear, nose and eyebrow trimmer to tame their facial hair beast. It’s time we stop viewing older women’s appearance more harshly than the appearance of older men.

For centuries, the fact was that the sex act was pleasurable only for the male, while for females pleasure was simply unimportant. The role of women in the sex act itself was more passive. Recently more and more women speak up for them selfs and verbalize their feelings and act out on what they like to get in bed. Women dating younger men is a growing trend among single midlife and older women. It makes perfect sense. Women peak in their 40s, sexually, and men in their very late teens. Not to mention the difference in physical appearance and performance of younger men. Unfortunately Mr. Happy gets older, too.

Conclusion: if we start judging men by their physical attractiveness and performance we need to reconsider if men stay just as desirable as women. -by Bregje

Note: It goes without saying that this does not represent all men and women. In order to make my point I had to generalize and exaggerate a bit.

Geplaatst in Amsterdam

Finding your significant other

If there would be a God, for God’s sake, why is finding and keeping your significant other so difficult?

It all starts with physical attraction between two people. Wouldn’t it be so much easier if chemistry would be automatically mutual? There would be no more fear of being ghosted.

Or what about having a strong physical attraction between the two of you but there is no emotional connection!

Or even worse. It happened to me several times. Finding out years later that the guy I was madly in love with also had a crush on me, but neither one of us picked up these signals.

If you are lucky you’ll be struck by cupid’s arrow. Wedding bells are ringing…Your heart is racing, your palms are sweaty and your appetite gone. You can’t sleep. Focusing is nearly impossible. He is on your mind constantly. You realize you must be sick — or, even more serious, in love!

Unfortunately being in love is no guarantee for a ‘happily-ever-after’.After a period of romance at some point you run into the first obstacles. Every relationship has its ups and downs. Hanging in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Love requires some hard work.

When you manage to stay together for a great length of time, a new problem arises. You might get bored: the same routines, the same annoying habits, the same predictable experiences and your love life is down to zero. Facing the menopause besides dealing with symptoms of aging, isn’t easy. When you get to this point of feeling yawn-y in your relationship there are several options. Be miserable, run, cheat or put some effort in and spice things back up.

I am afraid we have all been deceived. Love isn’t a fairytale after all.

In spite of all the heartache and effort we all like to share our life with someone precious. ‘Love only grows by sharing. You can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others.’* -Bregje

*Brian Tracy